Pain Management really is the only real way forward for many of us, without a real therapy that can help us recover from ARC our situation is inevitably going to get worse, so these specialists are our only route to pain relief and guidance.

One aspect of Chronic Pain that many of us forget, or try to, is that it does alter our mental state too; depression being the most common example. Our significant others may find us snappy, forgetful and less understanding than we were before - changes which obviously impact our loved ones more than ourselves, and can be very disturbing for children especially. No matter what age they are.

So you have to admit to yourself that, no matter what we tell ourselves about our capacity to handle our pain, the mind set of a person in Chronic Pain is very different to that of other folks without this burden. The mental and physical adjustments we automatically make to accommodate this new life time guest are apparent to our family and friends if not to us.

It therefore follows that, as a young adult needs instruction about the physical and mental changes in their lives, we also need guidance on how to manage this new person we have become. Personally though I fought against it (as we all do) I had to recognise that I needed some psychiatric counselling.

A lifetime's work had gone in a few months, a career cancelled out, physical restrictions placed on a previously healthy and robust body, these were not small changes and the worst thing is that they are happening to me at a time of life which we all look forward to. That time when:

  • the kids have flown the nest,
  • the house is mostly paid for,
  • you can relax at work because you are where you wanted to be,

there are no restrictions on your physical relationships at home because the possibility of getting caught by the kids has been and gone, and,

a time when the products of such relationships amongst our own kids can be handed back at the end of a day's babysitting.I think these are the attainments we all dream about for our middle ages and now they seem completely out of reach.

The total loss of the possibility to make it come true has to have a detrimental effect on our intellectual selves, and, no matter how much we assure ourselves that it hasn't, our friends and families can see it and it certainly has an effect on them too.

Obviously the younger you are the greater the losses and the older you are the more cheated you feel, equally obvious is that, some are better placed in society and others not, some are mentally more robust, whilst others are fragile. The guarantee is that any one of the above losses will occur and, I think, we all will go into mourning for the person we have lost - ourselves.

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